when you were gone...
dear blog, on 6th may 2010, on 6.45 pm pak usu called my name, saying that my mom asked me to go to atuk's house. i was watching tv at that time. i quickly went there, thinking maybe she needs help to clean atuk ( atuk cannot walked anymore after he fell down one evening, all he could do was just lying weakly on his bed).
when i walked into the house, nenek sol, kak ana and abg arip (my neighbours) were already there. i could see them standing around atuk's bed. i walked closer and i could see how atuk was already struggling for life.
dear blog, as im typing this, my eyes are filled with tears and my hands are trembling...
dear blog, i sat at the side of atuk's bed. my dad were also there, he just came back from work. my mom sat near atuk's head, holding atuk's hand and forehead. she said ALLAH, ALLAH, ALLAH... again and again, and Alhamdulillah, atuk, although was already gasping for air and could only breathe through mouth the entire time, could follow all of her words, he followed my mom saying ALLAH, ALLAH, ALLAH....and dear blog, i knew at that time, he was already in a terrible pain...
dear blog, all i could do was just crying, tho i knew this day would finally came, i always do, but i was still hoping that atuk could survive, that i would have a chance to see him smiling again, that i would have a chance to treat him better, that i would have a chance to feed him, that i would have a chance to see him there, on the chair, each time i send his food....
dear blog, it was 7.30 pm, my mom asked me to go home and performed the maghrib prayer. after solat, i went back to atuk's house and sat near his bed. atuk was still like before. but this time i could see that his eyes were wet, atuk was crying for the pain were too bad.........................
dear blog, it was 8 pm. my mom asked me to look at atuk for a moment while she went home to solat. i took mom's place. nenek sol and dad were also there.
dear blog, as the time passed, i kept looking at the clock at the top of atuk's bed. and i dun noe why. i just kept looking at the clock, and then to atuk.
dear blog, atuk suddenly lied still. i called my dad, but when he looked at him, atuk suddenly breathe again, and he also told me that atuk's chest was still warm. and nenek sol said that he was asleep..
........
dear blog, i kept looking at atuk, and the clock..
dear blog, it was 8.20 pm, i could see that atuk didnt breathe anymore.......
...............................................
dear blog, today, 6th may 2010, 8.20pm, i lost my atuk.
innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun.....al fatihah for atuk...dear Allah, please place atuk at the place where You place all the people that You really loves. la tahzan, la tahzan, innallaha ma'ana
takziah..al-fatihah
takziah ak ucpkan...huhu
tq..