Some mental block and then just ramblings as usual..


To be honest, I have been opening and closing and then re-opening again this write new post section for the last 48 hours. I have been writing some sentences and then deleted them again only to write the same sentences all over again. The truth is, i missed blogging. But the consequences of having ditching blogging all-together since I started working has now slowly rubbing itself on me. Seriously now, I had no IDEA what to blogged about!! However on the brighter side, the tensions and frustrations building up on how I wanted so bad to blog but had no idea what to write on had finally fruiting a success as it had eventually prompted me to write down my feelings in the forms of words and sentences here, and VOILA! one paragraph is finished already! MUHAHAHAHA
**See, blogging IS easy. I couldnt comprehend why I didnt do this sooner**

So, I have been into a lot of things lately. The lack of time I have at my perusal couldnt stopped me from enjoying what my life could offer, Although I gottta admit, sometimes I missed of going back into campus and having a lot of free time at my disposal. But truth be told, I enjoyed getting money MORE. hahaha. so I'll just try my best to utilize all the times I have got now before I start thinking of what my next steps in  life would be.

So, here it is, I have been having this urge to start taking photography seriously. Just recently bought myself some decent kit and I hope that would make things a lot smoother and easier after this. I just cant wait to learn some new skills and you know, just get out there and take the photos of everything! Oh wow, even the prospects of it excites me to no end!

So, that's a little part of the experiments in which I'm currently working on. I promise I'll update everything in here soon and fast! I just cant wait to share some of my good works! Haha

Until then,

politikus opiskus sp

Malaysia menang gol tapi kalah agregat woi. Aku okay je sebab rsa player sume main bagus malam ni. cuma tak de rezeki nak menang, nak buat cemana.

by the way sungguh la lama belog ini tidak ku bukak. bukan update ok, tapi BUKAK. update memang kirem salam la bile dah keje ni. laptop pon bukak sebulan sekali, leulz. skrin siap bersawang.

anyway aku dah selamat bekerja hampir setaun, so far boleh la saving sikit2 untuk plan masa hadapan (yang masih tak tau ape plan itu, tapi kita simpan je la untuk safety precaution kan). all i can say is, bila dah kerja ni memang tak de ruang untuk ko menjadi blur. kalau kau degil mahu blur, maka terimalah kata-kata makian dari para "super seniors yang bajet takde buat salah langsung" secara dalam talian (yakni Internet Messenger).

tempat aku kerja kalau dorang x puas hati memang pakat ngumpat kat IM je, pastu lalu depan kau buat muka pelek. haha boo la sama kau! dah tua pon nak amalkan lagi perangai ketidakmatangan seperti ini.

tapi aku pon sama je XD

haha politik opis kau, di mana-mana pon serupa. kau kerja dekat pejabat agama ke, balai polis ke, or kelab malam, for sure wujud punya konflik. selagi manusia yang bertuhankan napsu pegang jawatan, selagi tulah mende ni pasti ada. gittew.

aku actually tak terkesan pon dengan benda-benda gini. yela kat opis aku ni hanya makhluk picisan saja, orang tak tegur aku aku buat hal sendiri je, janji kerja aku siap (walau hakikatnya jarang dapat siap on time/off time), so tak kisahlah kau nak mengumpat aku ke, nak buat muka taik depan aku ke, or nak buat aku ni invisible aku rasa aku tak kan kesah pon. sebab aku pon buat benda yang sama dekat kau lahanat!! kakakakaka

sorry la, aku kalau tengah2 menaip tetibe beremosi memang cenggini. menambah dosa orang yang baca entry ini pula (hai hasnieza), hahahahaha

tapi kutuk-kutuk aku, marah dan memaki aku, aku tetap sayang job ni, first job, first interview kerja wei, sape tak sayang! gaji pon cukop la buat menampung kehidupan tak seberapa aku ni, hahaha. so sebab tu sekarang aku dah belajar tak nak amik pusing apa orang lain nak pikir pasal aku. (belajar ok!sebab fitrah hidup aku dilahirkan memang species sensitif, semua benda aku nak terasa) - I FEEL TOO MUCH, but think less XD
so aku harap lepas ni kalau ditakdirkan dapat kerja lain ke apa, at least sistem immunity aku terhadap species manusia-manusia jelmaan iblis ini (aku dah kata, bila aku beremosi aku cenderung untuk menggunakan kata-kata yang berunsurkan kecelakaan, haha) sudah terbina kukuh,so takdela first day kena marah nanti meraung-raung beli tiket balik pandan indah. eh

poyos la entry kalini
tapi bila masa pula tak pernah poyos ?XD

kla adioss
(da la x bagi salam)

Aku yang menggunakan pekerjaan sebagai disguise untuk mengusya jejaka2 sador di MYTAR hahaha

I'm all messed up


What is the purpose of you waking up everyday?

Working? Well, working is essential because it helps pays the bills

Eating? Eating is essential too, who am I kidding?

Meeting people? Being a social retard myself, I'd rather skip that part but clearly, that was not an option, not ever.

So, really? What's the real deal? What's the actual purpose of waking up everyday? What if the actual purpose of living?
That is, if we ever gets to wake up everyday again..

What if someday there's no more morning? What if someday you're no longer breathing? Hell, couldnt imagined it but it will come eventually.

The day where we all will no longer be a living being. 
The day when you will finally see the things beyond your current life.
The day when you will no longer have a day.
The day when you will no longer have a life
Urghh, scary, isnt it?

I'm scared. Understatement. Hell, I freaked out just thinking about it.
But yet, I'm still here, preferred to being consumed by my own scary thoughts rather than doing anything. Which is so very wrong..

Seriously. What is the actual f*** is wrong with me?

Damn I'm too exhausted to figure it out on my own

What do you mean?

How old are you now? Me? I turned 23 last June.
   Really? So how's it feel being an adult? My feeling, you say? Urm, nothing much changed. Just doing the same old thing, managing same old stuff.
     Oh? What you doing now? Urm..I'm working.
What? Where? I thought you said you wanted to further studies? Shhh..that's just between you and me. Lets just say I've lost interest to continue studying.
           Uhhm thats sad.. What's sad? Me? I dont feel sad. In fact I feel completely happy with my choice. With my life now.
             Well are you? I am. Truly I am happy now.

What's with that expression? Uhh sorry, I just don't take you as a person who can be satisfied with only having this, and not getting what you really wanted.
      Well, guess you're wrong. I guess I am..
                  I mean, you're wrong in terms of perceiving what is it that I really wanted. Oh? What do you mean? I've known you for ages. During that period you've been telling me about your dream of studying until you get the highest recognition from everyone.
          I did huh? Yes. You did. So what happen now?

I guess I lied. *laugh* What? You lied about wanting to further studies? That doesnt make any sense.
     It doesnt. But I'm not talking about furthering studies anymore now. I'm talking about lying to your question just now. What? What are you saying exactly? Which question?

I'm sorry I lied to you before. I guess being and adult did change me a lot *smile*


DBT, 18/12/13, 9.58 pm
signing off.

Behind the clouds, there's always the sun

It's a cloudy day. Then slowly the rain starts to pour. You're getting ready to get off to work. Clothes has been ironed, shoes are clean, then when you walked outside the waters soaked your clothes. Your clean shoes picking up dirts. You starting to curse silently. Hating the rain, hating the weather. People walked past by you, you give them a glare. You're hating everyone.

It was supposed to be a normal day. A usual walk to your work place. But then when the rain started falling down, it changes everything.

Walking down the road, under the broken umbrella, you started to think how much unfortunate can this day become when a speeding car splashes a whole bucket of water towards you. This time you cursed very loudly. You yelled at the driver, but because it was blurry and noisy due to the weather, not even one soul stopped to care. Not even the speeding driver.

You're now drenched in wet. You're started to cry. You thought to yourself how your prediction was right. How this is really not your day. You were supposed to reach office by five minutes, but because of the rain, because of all the unfortunate events the rain "had" caused, you're going to be yelled by your boss too. You hated the rain so much, for what it had caused you, to the point of you yelling at the sky, angrily. Blaming everything on the rain, on the stupid weather, said you.

Then suddenly a boy reached out for your hand. Opening your palms, he put on it a flower. A real one, not a plastic flower you often find at your office, or even your house. That boy then gives you a sweet, pure smile, telling you not to be mad, because it will make your face looks less prettier. You accepted the flower, hold it in your hand, while staring at the strange boy with a perplexed look for the longest period of time before he finally walked away, leaving you alone.

The rain still pours heavily. A lot of puddles were formed on the road. You reached the office so late you were scolded big time by the boss.

But at the end of the day, a flower blooms beautifully in a vase on your table. And looking up the mirror, you can see a beautiful smile plastering all over a beautiful face.

"Thank you, boy. It's not so bad a day after all."

The End.

"It's not about how life treating you. It's about how you treated your life"
@ copyrights DBT Dec 2013
11.28 pm
signing off.
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