DaLaM hAtI aDa TaMAn

21 at last =)

2:01 AM by Iman

when a girl was a 9 years at age, she wonders when will she reach 12? she felt so eager to become a senior at her elementary and get some raise on her allowance. she's done with being just a spoil kid, and wanted to be more like a teen.

at 12 years age, that girl was a senior. but deep in her heart, she didnt feel like one. she didnt feel any changes..for her, her world then when she was 9 years old, and now, had no difference at all. she's still the same spoil brat she was. the dependent one, the chicken one. and at this rate, she cannot wait to reach 13, enters a new school, and become more matured.

it was her thirteenth birthday. she no longer lives at her home, well, technically, because she had been accepted into a full boarding school situated 30km's away from her home. before going, she was so confident that this was her time. her time to finally be free. her time to shine. her time to show the world what she have got, and what she could offers. but boy, never had she realized that being far away from her family was tough. she felt alone, she was scared, and at this time, she was starting to regret her decision. she wanted her mom, she wanted her family, and at this rate she had given just about everything to turn back time and be a kid again.

she was 15 now. she felt different. she no longer longing for home and her family as much as before. she has adapted. and she was sincerely happy with her life. she had wonderful friends, she tops her class at almost every exams and tests, and she felt confident about life. she felt like she could give something more. she wanted to become more important. she wanted to become more matured. more like an adult. so that she will have controls over other people, so that people will look at her with dignity..she wanted the name. she wanted the fame..she wanted to be known by the world.

at 17, people would expect her to become someone, someone important. but boy, never did they realized before that that girl had nothing to offer. she's weak, she's coward, she's not courageous. she cannot be a leader. at this point, that girl also realizes that. she felt stupid for having so much confident in herself, thinking that she will become a person she's always wanted to be. at this age, she realizes everything. she realizes that she never changed,, that she, was still the same 9 year-old spoil brat who's afraid to let down her ego. for that, she cant wait to grow older, so that she can understands life more.

she was 18 now. life has given her so much of its lecture. she understands now. she understands how the things go. how life should be lived. how the world doesnt revolves around her and only her each and every of time. she's letting her guards down now. she's beginning to trust others. she knew that, at this rate, no one will ever survived by themselves. one will need other. she prayed to God she will get older soon, and find someone to fill in the empty spaces in her heart.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well...

that girl is 21 now.

I AM 21 now. =)

and at this age, i feel so contented about everything.

i have the most wonderful family...

lots of caring and loving friends...

a very enjoyable hobby (reading story books,, through my useless phone, hoho)

a stable career (until i resigned this coming september, lol)

and....ALLAH. =)

yes, i have ALLAH.
that means i have everything.

soo...

what else could i possibly want more?? =)

p/s : thanks so much for all the wishes guys!!! really,, i love u all!!

da nak pose ghupenyer

11:04 PM by Iman

kenapa bila da free tak dek bende nak dibuat aku rasa malas plak nak berbelog? time busy besok nak exam rajen plak aku menaip ayat-ayat sewel kat sini. ajaib betol. kalau tau dulu aku apply ijazah sarjana muda pengurusan belog. kompom degree aq complete tak sampai setaun, wu3.

sekejap je da nak masok bulan nam da, pastu julai. masok ogos je da start pose. eh, pastu rayer, wee, rayer rayer..tapi rayer skang da tak best nak dibandengkan zaman aq kekecik dulu. sebab dulu aku ade motif nak rayer, besela bebudak, kompom la target duwet rayer jew. tapi la ni bile da jadik matang sket duwet rayer da tak berapa nak bererti da bagi aku. da tak tempting macam dulu. so yang tinggal ape je? ape yang boley menjadikan hari raye aku terasa seperti hari raya? biskut raya barangkali..huhu

hadoii, sekali lagi tajuk entry aku menyimpang dari isik dier, len kali tolong ingatkan aku untuk taip entry dulu baru letak tajuk, hokey?

da alang-alang citer pasal raye kite sambung jela, so, kalau ade yang perasan la, zaman skang ni bile raye kemain payah nak jumpe bebudak datang beraya rumah-rumah cam time aku kekecik dulu. tak tau la kalau kat tempat korang ade lagi, tapi kat tempat aku, siyes, sejak 5 taun kebelakangan ni, memang susah nak nampak budak pigi beraya rumah orang yang totally stranger. ape bebudak kat tempat aku da pupus ke? pernah aku bertanya pada diri, tapi kenyataanye tak, dorang wujud lagi, cume tak dididik dengan amalan beraye ke rumah orang2 asing semate2 nak duwet raye macam zaman aku kekecik dulu. nape ye bule jadik cenggini? time aq kecik dulu acara ni la yang paling aku tunggu2. dulu raye pertama je, abes besalaman, makan sume, kitorang adek badek gan membe2 jiran sume teros naek beskal. konvoi g kutip duwet raye. siap planning lagi tu. rumah yang nampak cam kaye kitorang serbu dulu. yang ala2 tak berapa mewah kitorang postpone sampai raye dekat nak abes (bebudak oke, mohon jangan pandang serong)

pastu malamnye plak compare masing-masing punye hasil, sape dapat paling banyak. (kompom la same kitorang 3 beradek, da mak bapak bagi same banyak pastu g jalan raye same, hadoi)

huii memang nostalgik la bile tingatkan balek, rindu nak jadik bebudak lagi, g konvoi kutip duwet raye sesame. tapi ade drawback nye gak. bebudak dapat duwet raye sket, hakhak. so kesimpulannye, aq besyukor menjadi orang dewasa seperti skang, sebab orang bagi duwet raye lebeh sket. and most importantly,, aku tak yah kene kasik duwet rayer kat bebudak, yihaa! life is awesome! =D

a sweet escape

12:04 AM by Iman

hello there! missed me?? no?? oh well, kesah ape aku, hahaha (ni namanya intro mintak penyepak, harap mahap kepada yg terasa, hehe) its been quite a while since my last post. gosh, i have so much to blog about, to fill you in with the details of my average-not so dull anymore-life now.

well, can you believe it? mak finally let me work! me? working? mak letting me work? to those who doesnt know my mak probably wouldnt understand this, but really, getting permission from my overprotective (im not complaining okay, haha) mother to work, was like being given permission to get married before graduation! isnt that sweet? me? working? its huge man! waayyy huge! i cant tell you how happy i am to finally being able to escape from home, and earning some money, (well, the idea of getting money doesnt really intrigue me as much as getting access out of the house and meet new people, seriously!) i am superbly happy with this achievement! wee~~ and as a bonus, i got to make new friends too! isnt that awesome? instead of being a couch potato, now i get to mingle and socialize more! god, i love u mak!!! ur the best!! hahaha

oh, to those who wonders, im now working as an assistant salesperson at pasaraya save n save, situated not so far away from my home. until today, i have been working for 4 days, and still on a probation period. oh and i only worked as a part timer, why? ........err because i couldnt handle working for more than 5 hours, lalala~~ urmm,, though the pay wasnt as good as working full time,but im still happy! first because i could sleep in (work only starts at 3 and ended at 7 pm everyday), second because all my co-workers are all very kind and friendly (i felt very stupid for being such a paranoia at first thinking that all the workers and supervisors will be super mean to me, and i will get bullied and everything for being a newbie, well, now i know that were just nonsense thoughts, haha) and thirdly, because i wont get stuck at home until my holiday ends, like always! aint that sweet lads?? hahaha, oh im genuinely in love with my hometown right now, for allowing incapable people like us to work! i really dont know what would happen if companies and shops doesnt allow undergraduates students to work during their semester break, we'd probably gone crazy peeps! or died of boredom! seriously! whew....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
urm,,,, but then, i just glad i have this job to distract me, well, away from sadness and loneliness, my cat just died 3 days ago... she died from an unknown sickness. she was my last cat you know. her name's miu miu. all this time miu miu was my only loyal companion every time everyone left me alone at home. she was my best friend, but now she's gone. thinking of miu miu's death reminded me of arwah atuk. atuk also passed away on May, a year before, also during my semester break. may he be put amongst those who are blessed and loved by Allah. atuk, ila rindu atuk.... miu miu, caye rindu kamu...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

p/s : i used to hate my phone because it's useless, the camera isnt functioning, the earphones are impossible to find (well, maybe there are abundance of them in China, but then who goes to China for earphones??) there's no clear signal for tv, the games are ridiculous, and to add to this awful lists, the speaker had went down a few weeks ago, making it impossible for me to answer phone calls without the use of the loudspeaker. but guess what, on a bright side, recently i'd figured out how to install e books into it. so now, i can enjoy hours of e-books readings! through my once useless phone! that is just marvellous! oh, life is awesome..

uh okay, now, if you could excuse me, im gonna spazz on gikwang's and simon d's page. they are my lovers now. buh bye and im sorry for ditching you g dragon, hahaha (how could you stay loyal to one when there's lots of cute korean guys debuting every single day?? tuan is definitely impossible!! urghh)

-till then-

i want One HD!

10:01 PM by Iman

it's a torture. a pain. i feel like being stabbed hard at the heart. oh my heart ache so much i feel like squeezing it with my hands. why? why the world has to be so cruel? the cynical world of the entertainment industry..sigh.

can you believe it? now we can watch top korean variety shows everyday through channel 393. astro subscribers can now enjoy lots of korean popular shows and dramas through the new channel called One HD. so what's the catch? humphh,,,, it's only offered to Beyond subscribers. yeah, life is unfair, i know. sob2..

talk about business strategy. obviously they're so good at playing it, huh, what did they expect? that more will subcribe to beyond because of One HD? well, they play it well then, because it did worked =P i MIGHT switch to Beyond, but concerning the fact that it wasnt me who pays the bills every month, i dont get to do that. translation : i failed horrendously in persuading ayah to switch to Beyond. aigoo

thats why im telling you earlier. life is unfair. it's discriminatory people! discriminatory. sob2..

but nonetheless, KBSW alone is not quite bad actually. if i had never known of the existence of this awesome, fabulous, mesmerizing One HD channel, i had lead a happy life knowing that there are exciting korean shows awaits me every day when turning to channel 391. but oh dear, honestly, it's very hard to resist the One HD, when i know they are showing strong heart,

star king,

running man,

and other korean dramas and variety shows which im too heartbroken to type.
mamma mia, i want One HD! =.=

diriku kurang normal!

7:54 PM by Iman

~~dear blog, today i met my crush~~

~~cuaca hari ni terang, suhu dalam lingkungan 36 darjah celcius~~

ignore the scribbles, setelah menimbang dengan semasaknya, aku rasa this is it, akhirnya, pengakuan yang telah lama aku nanti-nanti untuk luahkan. uhh, ye masyarakat, aku akui aku ni sebenanya...adalah... ~~cumil~~ memang tak normal! tapi ketahuilah bahawasanya tak normalnya aku bukan la dari aspek anatomi atau physical appearance, tapi lebih kepada emotion disorder.waa!

kenapa aku rase aku tak normal?? berikut merupakan antara bukti yang aku rasa boleh membuktikan ketaknormalan aku :

1. aku paranoid!

benda-benda yang normal pon boleh buat aku paranoid. setiap kali aku berjalan melalui tempat yang ramai manusia, aku akan jadi sangat paranoid and fikir semua orang tengah memandang dan merenung dan menganalisa segala zarah di muka dan badan aku dengan mata yang memancarkan laser (paranoid tak ingat!). thats why i dont know where to direct my eyes when i was in public transport, or walking along a corridor or road packed with people. pernah ada sorang membe aku dulu cakap aku ni jalan menonong, mata tak fokus. macam ne nak fokus der?? da aku tatau nak pandang mana! tapi bukan ni je, aku gak akan jadi paranoid bile keadaan jadi gelap!especially bile aku ngah sensorang! macam-macam benda menakutkan akan bermain dalam pikiran aku, benda-benda yang tak logik nampak logik je pada aku. contoh aku selalu bayangkan ade orang gali kubur nak tanam mayat kat luar tingkap bilik aku, or dekat pintu ada lembaga berkelubung putih tengah berdiri tengok aku tido! wakluu!! aku boleh mati kalau kene tido sensorang dalam gelap!

gambo antu yg x berapa antu yg berjaye aq jumpe, yg laen sumer bule wat saket jantong!

2. clumsy setiap minit!

aku clumsy dan aku benci!! baru semalam aku jatuhkan sepeket sosej dari fridge supermarket bila teman mak aku shopping barang dapor, depan RAMAI manusia, dan DUA KALI berturut-turut! ade mak cik tu da pandang aku dengan sangat sinis, "cet! manager supermarket pon tak kesah la mak cik! mak cik nak kesah kenapa??!!" jeritku........dalam ati. tapi keclumsy-an ku bukan setakat semalam atau hari ni je, tapi ia berlaku setiap masa! di mana-mana! even tika aku berseorangan di bilik jua - time exam week aritu je dua kali kopi aku jatuh kotorkan karpet ngan nota, tu baru kopi, belom kira kuah megi dan megi yang baru siap masak dan belom masok mulot langsong! (penyeksaan batin woo) pastu aku ni gak senang sangat tersadung! jalan sekangkang kera sikit da tersadung, (tapi selalu aku pandai cover lar, wahaha) kat tempat yang rata pon aku boleh tersadung gak, apekedehel?? waa sunggoh bukan ku pinta lahir sebegini!! sob3...

3. errr,, aku ade masalah nak pronounce huruf D!

ironic? i know right, since nama aku sendiri bermula dengan hurof D! senang cakap aku pelat D la, ade orang pelat S dan R kan, aku plak tak ley sebot D. bukan la bermaksud aku tak boleh pronounce langsung, cuma bunyik yang keluar tu bile dengar kat telinga orang laen tak berapa sangat ke-D-annye. aku pon tak tau nak describe camne, aahh nak tau korang denga sendrik lar!

4. aku tak reti/pandai/tau nak explain something kat orang

aku ade benda tu dalam pala otak. tapi benda tu tak terkeluar dari mulut aku sebagaimana yang aku nampak dalam pala otak. tapi bila menulis atau menghitamkan MCQ benda yang keluar tu sejibik lak gan apa yang aku pikekan, wahaha! aku tak tau, something wrong gan basal ganglia aku? atau aku ade aphasia?? (language disorder) kenyataanya, aku memang tak pandai nak explain something kat sesapa! thats why i make a horrible teacher, and speaker. kalau ditakdirkan korang nampak aku bertanding untuk pilihanraya umum 10 taun akan datang, sila penuhkan petak orang di sebelah muka aku itu dengan tanda X!!

SEKIAN. -Bernamahapantah-