random updates~
people grow up. people change. people questioned about the things that happened around them. and people learned to accept their fate.
i grow up too. and as the time passed, i changed. i've been questioning about everything since i know how to do so. and as the time goes, im starting to accept my fate...
being a grown up is not easy. its never easy. i've seen people struggle to catch the very last breath of their lives, and it made me scared...
scared of what im becoming, scared of how ugly my life is right now, scared of hurting others, scared of how my life would turn out in the end...
........and most importantly...scared of returning to my Creator with handfulls of sins...
im not a good muslimah, i must say that the western had done a very tremendous job in brainwashing me. i fall for their lust. i fall for the world. im starting to forget the HereAfter. and im not blaming them for that. it all happens because i have such a weak heart.
i despise and hate myself.
truely.
and very deeply.
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