dont want to lose it

We played a game for fun.

I was asked about the memories that I would choose to forget.

and my answer was, if I could, I wanted to erase the memories of that day. that Friday. that Ramadhan. I chose to forget it because remembering it is painful. too sad. too heartbroken. and I dont want to feel any pain. I dont want to be sad. I dont want to feel heartbroken anymore..

but now when I think about it again..

that's a thing that puts myself together everytime I feel like splitting away.

it's the thing that reminded me that I have people that I still need to care about, to love with all of my heart, at home... people who I called family. family members that I'd vowed to make them happy no matter what.

this memory..although it's so painful..I realized that I'm not willing to lose it yet.

at least I could show to some people that unlike them, I am brave enough, strong enough to hold onto these memories. that I am willing to go through with the pain..coz letting go of these memories, is one coward act. and I'm not a coward. my father raised me to stand strong, head held high no matter what the circumstances are.

so I will never back down. I will make him proud. I promise..

1st of May. his birthday. Allah, please give me strength to visit him at his home. I missed him so much..I missed him so much..

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