this is nothing like learning ABC


hey folks. first of all, i'm sure we've all been at that point where every thing, every single thing that we did, just doesn't feels right. you think you're doing the right thing, but at the end of the day, it still kills you. there are lots of things that i wanted to change. if i have the power to turn back the time. but even a baby knows that is impossible. that's why there are saying that said " forget yesterday, embrace today and awaits tomorrow" (i just made this of, am not sure of the original saying) but the truth is, it is not as easy as learning ABC to forget about something. especially if the memory keeps on making you feel bad. so bad it's hurting your heart. you know what, sometimes i could be so jealous of people with alzheimer and dementia (not that i'm asking to have the disease, Allah forbids..) cause really, they don't remember a thing. sad, awful, disastrous memories- they forgot it all. so that ability kinda intrigued me in some ways. you cannot remember the sad things, so that should make you okay right? but then, it's impossible to be happy too. because at the same time- you also lose the good memories. and i honestly couldn't imagine experiencing that. life can get so awful without happiness. and one of the reason to be happy is to have a remembrance about all the good things, all the joyful experience, the wondrous journey that Allah had given to you.

well, provided you're a nice human being. and i'm not. i'm such a jerk i always hurt the feelings of the people surrounded me. i'm such a jerk i always took everyone for granted. but i wanted to change. i wanted to become a better muslimah. i wanted to become the lover of my Allah. although the journey seems to be tough, but i know Allah will always help me. changing- is not as easy as learning ABC. whatever the course i may face, whatever the obstacle that is coming to get me, i know Allah is always with me. please pray for me folks. :) thank you.

"Dengan-Mu ku punyai segala, takkan beruntung seisi Dunia, Limpah kurniakan petunjuk bantuan, Tempuh hari yang mendatang ;)" 

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