DaLaM hAtI aDa TaMAn

A silly girl like me live her life getting a new crush every once in a while.

but those silly crushes (since they were silly) are quick to be forgotten.

I met with a new crush, develop feelings for him for a week or so, and then the feelings would just vanished. be gone forever.

but there's this one crush that is hard even for me to ignore. The feeling's are so strong sometimes I do not know how to manage it.



be gone now, Candy Crush!! I need to finish my work lar!

true story!!

buat baik dengan mak sendiri.. ikut cakap mak, kompem hidup berkat..
tapi kalau derhaka kat mak, buat mak sedih, dekat dunia lagi Allah bagi balasan..
dah banyak sangat peristiwa berlaku yang membuktikan benda ni..

contoh terbaru semalam, tengah-tengah buat lab mak mesej mintak topapkan..
since aku tengah buat kerja and kredit pun agak tak cukup aku tak reply pape.

then dalam pukul 3 keluarla nak jumpa ngan akak aku.
sampai tempat meeting kredit habes tak boleh nak msg, nak call akak.
pergi bangunan sebelah (sebuah shopping mall) tengok-tengok semua kedai tutup (bangunan tengah dalam proses renovation)(tapi elok je aku tengok orang ramai keluar masuk bangunan tu, misteri di situ)

tengah desperate gila tak tahu nak buat apa, mesej kawan (kawan 15pax celcom) mintak tolong mesejkan akak.
tapi sebab kawan busy lepas setengah jam tunggu tak de reply pape..

then aku pon kamikaze masuk tempat kitorang supposedly jumpa tu (ramai gilaaaaaa laah ummat!), jelajah carik tempat topap. Alhamdulillah, nasib ada bhai! tapi time tu sumpah desperate gila sampai akak minachi turun tangga lambat pon aku rasa nak maki je. hehe

jumpa akak aku, dia cakap mak tanya aku dah topapkan ke belum?

aku cakap nanti balik aku topapkan. boleh je aku nak topap time tu, tapi kenapa aku tak topapkan ye? kenapa? kenapaa dalilaaa??arghh aku pun tak tawuu!

then sambung hang out gan akak, kitorang gi tempat laen carik makanan. tempat punya la besar tapi tak jumpa langsung makanan. hatta setitis air buat nak mengilangkan dahage.

nampak tak? nampak tak di situ?? sebab kedurjanaan aku tak topapkan untuk mak sendiri, banyak gila dugaan yang aku kena harungi sepanjang panjang hari semalam..


tapi..ajaibnya..(kuasa Allah, memang Allah nak tunjuk) lepas je aku belikan topap untuk mak aku lepas balik tu, benda baik jadi kat aku. aku beli topap lima hingget je. (untuk mak aku seploh hingget) tapi bila aku key in je kod topap tu, tadaaa, balance kredit aku seploh hingget lebeh..

warghh inilah dia kuasa cinta mak aku. :D

so kawan-kawan, kite just nak pesan lar,ehehe. berbuat baiklah sesengguh and seikhlasnya pada mak kite. especially sementara mereka masih ada ni. kasih mak kan membawa ke syurga. moh ramai-ramai kita berebut pilih jalan ke syurga ya. Ammiiin, hee

We played a game for fun.

I was asked about the memories that I would choose to forget.

and my answer was, if I could, I wanted to erase the memories of that day. that Friday. that Ramadhan. I chose to forget it because remembering it is painful. too sad. too heartbroken. and I dont want to feel any pain. I dont want to be sad. I dont want to feel heartbroken anymore..

but now when I think about it again..

that memory..it's a thing that puts myself together everytime I feel like splitting away.

it's the thing that reminded me that I have people that I still need to care about, to love with all of my heart, at home... people who I called family. family members that I'd vowed to make them happy no matter what.

this memory..although it's so painful..I realized that I'm not willing to lose it yet.

at least I could show to some people that unlike them, I am brave enough, strong enough to hold onto these memories. that I am willing to go through with the pain..coz letting go of these memories, is one coward act. and I'm not a coward. my father raised me to stand strong, head held high no matter what the circumstances are.

so I will never back down. I will make him proud. I promise..

1st of May. his birthday. Allah, please give me strength to visit him at his home. I missed him so much..I missed him so much..

bercakap tentang ketakutan, ramai orang ada phobia mereka masing-masing.

kena tambah parameter? redha je.