DaLaM hAtI aDa TaMAn

cari kerja. cari kerja. celik mata ja cari kerja (a bit exaggerating there) but that's how my life rolls these days. before graduating, to be honest, i dont give a f*** about finding myself a job. thought of giving myself a months or two at home, relaxing all day (basically means doing nothing all day) then off to find a job, get a job, get my paycheck, buy a car and get married. oh my model life.

but who the f*** would have known that finding a job would be this f***ing difficult? LOL.

few of a friend encouraged me to pursue with Msc. but how the f*** would i be able to if the pocket aint got no money? heck, i dont even have the money to apply. and what's the deal of charging own Malaysian citizens with application fees in order to apply for Msc at their place? f***ing beurocrats. f***ing politics.

i went for an interview last time. they said if i get the job they will call in 2 weeks. it's been 3 weeks now. no calls. guess i've blown that job off. what a pity. thought i could make some real money from there.

i know this post aint pretty. i've been using a lot of profanity and very unpretty words in my post lately (lately?? i dont recall updating anything recently?). i think ageing did that to me.

good lord. i'm getting older. single. and unemployed. there, my perfect model life.

kbai.

Bismillah..

Oh boy. a lot of things has been going on in my life lately. but most and foremost is.. I have officially completed my degree!!! yayy!! who knows man? who knows? i mean like seriously. it feels like only yesterday i was going to lab and conducting lab works, mintak barang dari puan azmira, terkejar-kejar nak buat labwork sebab tak nak miss lunch time (eating is a compulsory activity no matter how busy i would become), bunuh tikus, tarik paru-paru tikus, homogenate paru-paru tikus and separuh mati make sure takde buat silap bila buat kerja kat lab ppsp time puan ASNIDA hader, sprint up and down naik turun tangge nak pulang kunci lab, buat muka toye (a.k.a carik gaduh) depan budak master everytime masuk lab diorang. GODD. it's been that long alreadyy?? :D who would have belib it?? who knew i could survive??

maann. final year was the toughest period. before this i cant wait to see the day where i finally finished all my lab works, finished presenting my project, finish with viva, and finish submitting my thesis. and now is the time! everything's done! but why am i having this heavy feeling??

two days ago i was fine like an ignorant cat. my mind said what up with the sadness?? its not like we're not going to EVAH see each other again after this? mark invented Facebook. there's intagram and whatnots, so make an effort, and STAY CONNECT!

but that was before, now i was like,

huwarghhhhh I MISS MY FREAKIN' FRIENDS SO FREAKIN' MUCHHH!! WHY WONT THEY GO ONLINE EBERY MINUTE?? WHY DONT THEY POST THEIR LATEST PICTURES EVERY SINGLE HOURR?? WHY??

the house was empty and it emits this uneasy vibes. it makes me want to cryyy. sob2..

and everyone's going home already which means i'm the only one left in this freakish empty houseaaah~~

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OK. that was very immatured. (geleng kepala). so to speak, now that i'm no longer a student (currently) so what;s the next step? when people asked me, the answer would always be, I DONT KNOW. really. however, it's not like i dont have any real plans or two. i do have. in fact, it has already started. the thing is, why i'm still in the dark is because i dont really know which plan am i going to execute first? my top priority is to make mum happy. and after that comes my necessity. so that's what been bugging me ever since.

it's true like they said. real life is challenging. well, i feel it now. it's challenging alright. you're making decisions every single minute. and that's..considering my inability to make one, is very very very friggin effin TOUGH!

so..really. what's going to happen next? i might still have no idea yet. But HE SURELY DOES. Please Allah, guide me through it :). Amiinnnn

-semoga Allah memberkati kita semua-

sejak menganggur banyak masa nak edit gamba selca sendiri okbai

kerana aku punya rasa malu..

In Shaa Allah :') Sesungguhnya Dialah yang sebaik-baik perancang. Sebaik-baik penentu. Tunjukkan aku jalan yang terbaik Ya Allah. Semoga dengan hikmahMu hamba ini akan menjadi hamba yang lebih baik. Berjiwa kental. Beriman yang tidak puput. Taqwa pada setiap masa. Dan menjadi hamba yang tidak pernah lupa untuk berasa syukur. Demi agama. Demi dakwah atas jalanMu. Demi RasulMu. Demi kedua ibu bapa,keluargaku, serta umat mukmin keseluruhannya.

Kepada Engkau doa aku panjatkan..aaminn

He was already in pain. He told me it was too cold he cant bear it. But he continued driving. For me. To make sure i reach there safely.

Pengorbanan terakhir seorang ayah untuk aku. Maka nikmat tuhan yang manakah yang engkau dustakan?

Allahu Allah. Aku terlalu rindukan dia. Aku rindukan ayahku ya Allah...