What is it with us?

Sometimes it occurred to me, what is it that's so important with the lab results that I had to go to the lab and conducting various (tedious, unproductive, insignificant) tests every single day? (saturdays and sundays included)

What is it that's so important about the thesis that I'd to pour out every single ounce of my energy and time writing about everything, when at the end of the day the only person who I truly knew would read it all, sentence by sentence, word by word, paragraph by paragraph is only ME?

What is it about going to classes when all I'm going to do is forget about everything I learned by the time the class ended?

What is it about taking examinations when it only makes me read the notes and understands them all for the SOLE reason of getting good marks and only good marks?

What is it with going to university for four years when I already knew there wouldn't be any decent jobs waiting for me by the time I graduates and that the only way for me to survive and to secure my position in the hideous world of job competition is to continue studying years by years until all my facial collagen dries out of my skin?

And what is it with the people. The more they become knowledgeable, the more proud they became. I mean seriously, what's up with that?

And what is it with me anyway?

Did I chose the wrong course? Or rather, did I chose the wrong way of living?

If this is not the place where I belong to, then where am I supposed to go? There's so much questions and yet there's no suitable answer that I can think of. I cannot answer all of that, because the knowledge is beyond me. However in my heart I do know that there could only be ONE possible explanation for all of this insecurity I felt. That is to

"RECHECK MY IMAN. UPDATE MY IMAN IF IT'S OUTDATED, AND LAST AND FOREMOST, UPGRADE IT. IMAN NEEDS TO BE POLISHED. IT NEEDED TO BE LOOK UPON. THAT IS BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT DIFFERS US HUMAN FROM ONE ANOTHER. ALLAH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BEAUTY. YOUR WEALTH. YOUR CHILDREN. YOUR HEALTH. YOUR KNOWLEDGE. AT THE END, THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS TO HIM AND TO US IS IMAN. "



"Say not that You have iman, rather say that you are Muslim, for iman has not yet entered your hearts." (49:14)


Repent. It's still not too late :'( Allahu..

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