DaLaM hAtI aDa TaMAn

dua tiga menjak ni aku asyik sakitkan hati orang lain je.. bila dah terbuat something yang orang tak suka barula aku started to question myself; why did i do that? why didnt i act like this and that? what was i thinking back then?
i know it's about time i realized that people have feelings. everyone has their own feelings, and the world doesnt always revolves around me.
sometimes it feels very hard to understand others. we thought we're doing something right, but at the end of the day, we end up hurting them. life's complicated, but to me the people that are living life are way more complicated. i am complicated. that, i am fully aware. but being human, we sometimes forget about that. we tend to forget that we're not the only creature that are able to think and to feel. there are also other people around us.and everytime when you feel like you have done something wrong, you feel scared. you're scared that you came to the point where you became denial. you started to deny everything. you feel threatened with the truth, you feel like your hanging at the end of the world. thats what im feeling now.

is there any way that i could change myself into someone better? someone that are likeable by everyone? someone who doesnt simply hurt the people that actually care for them? i sometimes thought about this. sometimes i hate myself for being me. why was i born this way? why do i always think like this? why i always act like this? why cant everyone like me? why cant i make everyone happy? why i always hurt everyone around me??

to mind other's feelings, when we, as the outsider, doesnt have any idea about what was going on on their mind, is indeed, very hard. we'll unknowing, or knowingly, always, hurt them..

im sorry for for being such a bad person...... ;(  im sorry everyone....

And you are out of your mind

Remember just remember

Allah is The Kind.

When your life is in darkness

And nothing is right

Remember just remember

Through the darkness,

Allah is The Light.

When nothing makes sense

And your heading for demise

Remember just remember

It doesn't make sense, but Allah is The Wise.

When times are troubled

And no one seems to care

Remember just remember

Allah won't hurt you, He is The Fair.

When your heart is breaking

And your pain makes you fall

Remember just remember Allah Sees it all.

When you are weak

And the road seems long

Remember just remember

Seek strength from The Strong.

When life is a burden

And everything is unstable

Remember just remember

Allah is The Able.

When the way is cloudy

And there is no one by your side

Remember just remember

Allah is The Only Guide.

When no one wants to listen

Or is willing to lend an ear

Remember just remember

Allah is always ready to hear.

When you are poor and penniless

And you are stuck in a niche

Remember just remember

Allah is The Rich.

When you are down in your misery

And there is nowhere to run

Remember just remember

You can always run to The One.

And when your scars are hurting

And your heart is in fear

Remember just remember

Allah is really here.

Subhanallah

haiiii!!!!!!! hai! hai! hai! hai! hai! haiiii!!

hai yang banyak-banyak ni adalah untuk post-post yang tak pernah aku update kat sini semenjak.. semenjak.. urm sebulan yang lalu?? hahaha! ini kerana sejak due menjak ni aku jadik bangkai idop bile da sampai rumah. semuanya gara-gara posting kat makmal PPUKM yang sumpah mengabehkan kudrat wanita haku! ahoiii

anyway, kitorang semer dak2 biomedic 3rd year neh kene diwajebkan menjalani posting kat sane 4 minggu, 2 minggu kat kat lab yang berlainan. group aku dapat kat lab histopatho untuk first 2 weeks ni. before pegi memang cuak gak la, sebab aku expect staff kat sane akan suro kitoraang wat kerja2 lab. tapi sebenanye tak pon. even budak UiTM yang tengah wat praktikal pon just observe je, lagi la kitorang yang baru introduction to practical neh.

tapi all in all, aku rase bende posting neh memang sangat bermanafaat la, seriously memang dapat pengalaman and info2 yang lagi detail compared to experience dalam lab kat faculty yang pernah aku wat dulu. skang ni bole kate aq hampir terer lar bab2 proses tissue neh, wahahahhhh!!! (walhal)

urm, tapi kan tapi kan, aku lebeh berminat tengok doc grossing organ dari tengok staff proses tissue (grossing tu adelah proses memotong tissue2 abnormal kepada bahagian2 kecik supaya MLT bole proses jadikkan slide lepas tu). tapi walaupon best, tapi most of the time memang aku rase boring la, hari2 tengok bende yang same, orang yang wat tu x boring ke? ha? . waaa x mahu kerja lab!! mahu kerja CEO! bole x bole x??? warghahahahaaa

soalan: err ni gamba kat lab ke? haha

err? ni pon kat lab?? p/s : ni kitorang ngan x malunye g join jamuan hari raya staff, ngahaha

bajet ketua makmal, lol

x ley pegang microtome, muke da nak nages, hakhak

wee! dpt gak maen microtome, ketaq2 siku aku nak fishing, haha

future ninja turtle mesia, haiyaakk

* gamba sume ihsan RTM ( Rab Teman serumahku yang Memiliki enpon experia, hahaha)

arghh dunia ni memang banyak godaan! pandang kiri pandang kanan semua benda buat aku teringin. kalau benda murah seploh ringget bole dapat lima takpe, ni harge sebijik je da bejuta bejuta lemon, tak cam sengsara lak batin aku! huh!

# pegi lecture hall tengok orang pakai i-pad (memula aku ingat kalkulator besor) aku teringin nak ade bende same,



#jalan-jalan kat jalan raya nampak kete lamborghini yang convertible tahap bole bukak tutup bumbung ikot sukati die plak aku jadik terlior nak beli kete same (walopon aku takde lesen lagi)



#order nasik kat anuar seafood tengok waiter die bawak ikan besor siap ade api nyale-nyale bawah die memwatkan ayer lior aku tak henti-henti meleleh!

aku pon x sure ni menatang hape, google2 x jumpe bende yg aku nmpak semalam

#pastu balek bilik pulak kiri kanan aku makhluk maen angry bird dalam experia ngan samsung galaxy! ea cakap sket, sape yang tak tersiksa bai??! huwaaaa...

















p/s : napsu ku harakah, eh serakah. huhuu

** ini cerita hari raya